Carson Jeffrey Lindstrom

Dearest Carson,

As I sit here, I'm wrapped in the worlds thickest blanket, cradled into the most beautiful part of the world, your arms. I can not help but to feel overwhelming emotions and trades of truths and we haven't said a single word in over an hour. I love that. I love where we are. I love what we are. I love it all.

You care for me like no other person I've ever met. You always respond to me, whether it be a phone call, an email, you are always there. Your words lace around me like the sweet smell of freshly baked biscuits on a chill autumn day, the sweet comfort of home. It's a rarity and I am so blessed I get to be so close to you. So close as to touch your hand and take it and put it on my heart, as I just did. You hear that. We are beating to the one unique beat God has placed on this earth for just us to find. I sit here, listening to a perfectly customized playlist you brought me. Waiting so patiently for that sunrise to grace over the Seattle skyline and our life. I love the way you make me feel about myself. That will never change.

You are such a strong man of Christ, my man of Christ, that without you, without us, without our times, without any of it, my life feels incomplete, empty, and startlingly, almost without value. You inspire me to be a bigger person. You inspire me to live harder. You inspire me to dream bigger. You inspire me. With every breath that I take. With every moment I'm awake. With every dream instilled within my sleep I know you are there. To watch me triumph, to watch me fall.

I am yours Carson Jeffery Lindstrom. I always have been. You are mine. You always have been. I'm glad we can go through fights and keep logic and emotion but keep them cleanly divided to see the situation from both sides. You lift me up when I feel helpless. You ease my doubts and my fears. You love me for who I am and nothing more or less.

I just don't know... where I'd be this day in history if that overcrowded house party invitation never came. I remember the day I stumbled into you so incoherently drunk that you chose to be my hero of the night. Taking me to the corner of the property, the quite corner, where we talked in our drunken stupor about the corrupted society all around us. Thinking it was just a really great conversation, I'd neglected to find anything out about you other than your name...

Then you came, like a sun ray out of the darkest clouds... two weeks later as I was having a rough day, I look down at my phone and see this foreign number... And it was your voice on the other line that spent four hours coaxing me away from the crazy negativity I was feeling. You were patient. You were most definitely annoyed, but you were patient. After I calmed, I again assumed all chances were off. At the end of the conversation you surprised me deeply, moved me even, by asking my hand out for coffee and a walk on the Kirkland waterfront.

Baby, that day I knew you were special. I knew we were the ones who couldn't be stopped. We won't be stopped. We will live our lives so well, that nothing will get in our way. It's all because of you that it's possible. It's all because of your bold action that we will have these incredible lives.

I can't wait for the days, months, and years, and the lifetime we've got in store. You make me so happy. I'm so blessed.